Suckish aspects of life

What's been going on around here?

Welp...

I found out I was pregnant on April 18.  Yay!

I started bleeding heavily on April 25.  Crap!

Ultrasound confirms it's ectopic May 1.  Fuck!

It wasn't even in my tube, like most ectopic pregnancies are.  It was on my right ovary.

Seriously.

Nothing is ever easy it seems.

Since I was only 6 weeks pregnant and my hormone levels were very low, they gave me a shot of methotrexate.  That stops cellular growth, and then hopefully your body just reabsorbs everything.  I was really hoping for no surgery, and so far I've been lucky with that.

Today I got word that my hormone levels are indeed dropping.  I still feel sort of off, I guess...a little dizzy, tired, just not great.  I also have a cold, which is not helping.

I can't even explain how much I felt like a ticking time bomb.  I was just waiting for something to rupture and for me to faint and bleed out.  It has been quite an awful experience. 

But, fortunately, life does go on...

My very appropriate fortune on the day I got the shot

LMAO

Brand and I just upgraded to the iPhone 5's over the weekend.

We are having a great time with Siri.

Brand just asked her, "Siri, are you my bitch?"

And she said, "Please."

Cracks me up.

Grouch

Pretty soon I am going to change the name of my blog to "Grumpy's Blog."

I seem to be stuck in a foul mood.

So is Ryan apparently.

Today I discovered that my house key fell off my key chain and is missing.  How does that even happen?

Also, Jayden's fraction homework makes me feel like an idiot.  I try to help her, but I suck at math.  Like I'm really bad at math.  Like I still count on my fingers.

Is there a practical use in life for mixed fractions? 

I guess I'm done whining for today.

My husband says I dress like a grandma...amongst other things.

A staple to my wardrobe is the ever-so-lovely cardigan.

I wear them to work.  I wear them with jeans.  If you see me out and about, chances are I'm either sporting a hoodie or a cardigan.  Clearly I'm not a fashion icon, but my husband tells me I dress like a grandma.  He has straight up given me a complex.

I think my gray cardi is hella sexy.  So there.

I think it's time to clean my car out.  It's getting a little, uh, cluttered on the passenger side.

 Remember how I said my goal was to unpack all my boxes over the weekend?

Welp.

Instead I laid in bed and watched, like, 20 episodes of Gray's Anatomy or, as Jayden calls it, Gray's Academy.  So much for progress.  I opted for McDreamy instead.

Five on Friday

1.  Jayden got "asked out" today.  OH MY FREAKING LORD.  She told her suitor that her dad won't let her have a boyfriend.  How funny is that?!?!?

2.  Today, for the first time in my life, I had a dream that my teeth were falling out.  What a weird sensation.  Not really a fan.

3.  It's Friday...which means Ryan will be in this position for the foreseeable future.

4.  Jayden has a friend over and they're playing Barbies.  At 10 years old, she is showing interest in Barbies for the first time ever.  Stick to the Barbies.  Forget the boyfriends.

5.  Goal this weekend:  Finally unpack all the boxes.  I suck at moving.

Cheers to the freakin' weekend, my friends!!!!

10

I was in a great mood today...until I picked up the kids from school.

Let me tell you, fighting with a 10-year-old girl over nonsense makes me grouchy.

The newest phase of life I'm in, which I'll entitle "Hormones," is quite trying.  I don't remember 10 being such a hard age.  I guess 10 is the new 12.  And 12 sucks.

When my patience is gone, I tell her to get away from me, that she's acting crazy again.  I don't know that it's the most effective manner of parenting, but it's where I'm at.

My son has become quite a video game addict.  Our newest rule is that he can only play on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.  I'm forcing him to explore other interests.

Today we spent 30 minutes or so at the park.  I wish it would just get warm already so we could spend way more time outside.

Now that we live in a place with zero yard, the park will be my respite.

Life is good, a bit challenging...but that keeps things interesting.

Happy Thursday!

March 6, 2013

I love that when Ryan is playing a video game and the character swears, he glances in my direction and gives me a "I won't ever say that" look.

At this point in his life, you'll find him doing two things:  playing Xbox or shooting hoops.

He reads when I force him to.  He is definitely not a read-for-pleasure kind of guy.

He is a math whiz and always a star student.  I never have to worry about him getting into trouble at school.

He is still his daddy's shadow.

He is a comedian, but only at home.  Not many people know his true personality because he is pretty self-conscious everywhere else.

As soon as he gets home from school, he ditches his clothes for shorts and prefers to be that way no matter how cold it is.

I can never get him to smile for a picture unless I say something really immature, like butthole, otherwise all my pictures look like this:

He's a great kid.  And I'm glad he's mine...even though he does scream like a banshee when he's mad.

He clearly gets his good looks from me.  :)
 

Good start to the week

I got the kids to school today on time, and they both had a pair of matching socks.

There were no fights and no tears.

Backpacks were not missing.

They both knew where their shoes were.

I consider that victorious.

Jayden slept until 1:00 yesterday afternoon.  I think she's growing.  Either that or she's entering that phase of life where all you want to do is sleep.

Let me tell you, we are clearly entering a new territory with her.  She has been having crazy mood swings...C-R-A-Z-Y.

Brand and I just laugh about it really because she can act a fool like nobody's business.

One minute she's good and the next second she's crying about eggs.  True story.

The next bunch of years should be real fun.

But, in all honesty, I'm not that worried.  She's a good kid.  And she has an extremely guilty conscience when she knows she's wrong and she always apologizes.  She is also a TERRIBLE liar.  I can read her like a book.

Happy Monday!

Five on Friday

1.  I am very fond of Downton Abbey.  I spent an entire weekend watching seasons one and two a couple weeks ago.  I am now caught up to last week's season three finale and I, like most of the world, am PISSED.

2.  It occurred to me the other day that I just need to stop saying "no" all the time. Jayden wanted to make some scrambled eggs.  Instead of telling her no because it's just faster to do it myself, I stepped aside and let her do it herself.  I need to do that a lot more.

3.  I want to take a pottery class with Jayden.  For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to learn how to use a pottery wheel and now she does, too.

4.  I am addicted to Candy Crush.  Why do these dumb games always suck me in?

5.  My Christmas tree is packed into a big red bag, but it's sitting in the living room still because I have no idea where to put it.  Storage is lacking in our new apartment.  I really need to find a place for it because it is NOT a pretty sight.

Smooches!

2013

Time really does fly.  And I feel like I say that too much, but I can't believe how true it is.

To begin this new year, we have a new place to live.  We are slowly but surely making our new digs a home.  It's been a month since we moved, and we still have boxes to unpack...but it's getting there.

I hate making new year's resolutions because, just like most people, they go right out the window after a week.  I'm not going to promise to get skinny because I won't.  I'm not going to resolve to cook more because I hate cooking.  I'm not going to say that I'll stay caught up on laundry because I hate doing laundry.

What is important to me is to be happy.  I hope to stay healthy.  I want to experience new things with my kids and husband.  I want to turn off the computer and lock up the iPhone and just spend quality time with my family and friends.

Last year was a weird year for me.  I was sort of in a funk for most of it.  I was out of my element and felt like a square peg trying to squeeze into a round hole.

I think I've finally found a square hole again.

Happy New Year!

Currently...

Stressed.

Beyond.

Belief.

Deep breaths...

Peace out, Zuckerberg.

I decided the other day to get off Facebook for a bit.  I am always saying I don't have time for this or time for that...yet I probably spent at least 30 minutes a day on that blasted Facebook.

30 minutes can be spent reading with my kids or folding a load of laundry, so I deactivated my account for a while.

Anyways....

Yesterday Jayden received a certificate for scoring advanced on the reading comprehension portion of the Connecticut Mastery Test.  Standardized tests are so dumb...but she did great and we are very proud of the little smarty pants.  She is incredibly proud of her first official-looking certificate.

She shook hands with the mayor as he handed her the certificate.  In Ryan's mind, that was akin to meeting President Obama.  :)

Happy Friday!

Five on Friday

1.  Back to school was Wednesday.  We now have a third grader and a fourth grader.  They were both nervous, but definitely excited.  So far, the transition from up late/sleep late to early bed time/early wake time has been smooth.

2.  My dryer bit the dust a few weeks ago, and I need to buy a new one.  It's not a problem, though, because I have piles of money laying around (sarcasm, people.)

3.  It's barely fall and I'm already starting to freak out about driving in the snow.  I really hope to be able to buy a car with four-wheel drive soon.

4.  I am not a reader of Vogue magazine, nor am I a fashionista, but I have watched the documentary "The September Issue" on Netflix several times.  I'm sort of fascinated with that industry.

5.  Random thing I discovered this week.  I cannot do the "hang a spoon from your nose" trick.  Ryan can.  It's like he has a magnet at the end of his nose. 

August 24, 2012

Dear Jayden,

Tonight we went to Target.  While we were there, you drove me crazy (like you always do at the store.)  I constantly get mad at myself for getting annoyed with you.  After all, you are just like me.  You like to walk around and browse and pick things up, check them out, and take your sweet time.  We didn't have time for that today, and I kept telling you to "put it down" and "come on, we have to go." 

When we were walking to our car, an older woman came up to us and asked us for money to buy food.  If I had had some, I would have given it to her (because I'm a sucker like that).  Unfortunately, I had no cash to give her...not even a quarter.  Immediately you were very sad and concerned.  Situations like that weigh heavy on you.  You told me that I should have given her a box of Gushers since we just bought two boxes.

You have such a big heart.  I love that about you.

Love,
Mama

So long twenties...

Birthday dinner with my BFF

 Well, I've finally crossed over into my 30s.  I was sort of dreading it, which is so dumb.  After all, every day is a gift...

On the morning of my birthday, I woke up at 7:07.  I was supposed to be on the road at 7:15.  I needed to take a quick shower...but I discovered there was no hot water.  Somebody apparently flipped off the emergency oil burner switch at some point the day before, which I didn't even think to check.  Instead, I washed my air with icicle water and made a mad dash to get me and the kids out the door.

I drove to Stamford without hitting traffic (miraculous) and even had enough time to put on my make-up in the car.  The witness didn't show up for the deposition, so I was in and out within a half hour.  I grabbed some Dunkin' Donuts and made a quick decision to stop at Children's Place to check out a sale.  When I got back to my car after shopping, it wouldn't start.  It was completely dead.

I called roadside assistance and proceeded to fry in the parking lot for an hour while waiting for him to show up with jumper cables.  I was thanking my lucky stars at that point that I decided to wear a dress that morning and that I sprung for the iced coffee.  It was balls hot out...absolutely sweltering.  By the time he got there, I was dripping with sweat and looked like a damn hot mess.

It took him eight seconds to pop the hood and discover a loose battery terminal.  He literally jiggled the thing for a nanosecond and my car started again.  I felt like a dumbass.  On the bright side, at least it wasn't something serious, as it usually is when my car is broken.  This time my wallet remained unscathed, so my luck wasn't totally bad.

We celebrated with a toasted almond ice cream cake...my favorite!!  And no birthday celebration is ever complete without a tiara.

In Loving Memory...

My aunt passed away on July 21, 2012 at just 51 years old.  Cancer stole her from us far too soon.

She was the kindest, sweetest person I have ever known.  And I'm quite certain that every single person that had the pleasure of knowing her would say the exact same thing.  She truly had a heart of gold.

As a kindergarten teacher for over 20 years, she touched the lives of countless children and families.  She will be missed by so many people.

 
Love you, Aunt Mary Ellen.  You were an angel on earth; now you're one in heaven.  xoxo

Working and Smashing and Painting

Today started off great.  My job was at 11:00, so I hit zero traffic and the deposition itself was short and easy.

Before I ventured back to the house, I went to my happy place.

I ended up being trapped there for over an hour because a severe storm hit and there was no way in hell I was driving home in it.  I was pretty much scared out of my mind.

Anyway, Jayden needed some paint to complete a canvas she started the other night.

Ryan surprisingly wanted a a Smash Book of his own, so I got him one.  I threw one in the cart for myself as well.  :)

He's been wearing this cowboy hat nonstop since Monday.

Jayden was very pleased with my paint selection.  I think she was very excited to have an artist's palette.

 After they checked out all the loot, they got down to business right away, Jayden with her paints and Ryan with his Smash Book.
 

Here are their works of art.  I love both!

It says:  "I am a good friend, a good sport.  In first grade 2011 I was always a star.  I was giving examples to other students.

Ryan did a little painting, too.

I ended my day with another walk and some more Jillian Michaels' torture.  She is so mean!  My shins are so sore.  I think it's because I'm so out of shape and perhaps because I don't consume enough calcium.  I hope it gets better as the days go by.

Ouch!

This morning, as I was heading downstairs to get ready for work, I misjudged which step I was on and took a tumble.  I landed on my left butt cheek SO HARD and smashed my elbow into the railing.  Luckily, I'm fine other than that.

I've started an exercise regimen with a friend.  Both of us are in weddings right around the corner, and we would rather not be fat for the occasion.  In addition to Jillian Michaels' 30-day Shred, we have been walking.  I'm not sure the mileage of our walk, but it's a pretty good mix of flat ground and hills.  I sweat buckets...no exaggeration.  I'm hoping to finally get in shape for once in my life.

I tried to embrace the camera today and take some pictures of me and Jayden.  There aren't many pictures of me floating around right now...I kind of steer clear of the lens as much as possible.  But I want there to be pictures of me for my kids' memories, even if it's making crazy faces.

I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again.  I love Instagram.  These pictures are kind of dark because there wasn't much light in the room, but I love the filters with this app.  

You're astounded by our beauty, aren't you?

I really hope I can move tomorrow.  Between the fall and the workout, my muscles are screaming!

Motherf*%!# Spiders!!!!

It is no secret to those who know me well that I am absolutely petrified of spiders. The sight of even the smallest of spiders paralyzes me with fear.

I know it's slightly irrational, but whatever. It is what it is. They're ugly and they crawl fast and they give me the heebie-jeebies.

It's now 4:00 a.m. I was just dozing off when I swear that I saw a big f'en wood spider crawling near me. I jumped out of bed like the house was on fire and turned all the lights on. Brand inspected the area and found no evidence of any critters.

Does that make me feel better? Definitely not!

Was I hallucinating? Probably.

It happens to me every once in a while. This is not the first time I've leaped 25 feet off the bed out of a dead sleep because of a demon spider. Even the damn imaginary ones torture me! And now I can't sleep.

This is going to be a great day, let me tell you.

Horseback Riding

On Monday, Jayden went to her best friend's birthday party at a horse farm.

She had been looking forward to this party for weeks, and then this morning she didn't want to go.  She was scared to the point that she had a stomachache.

She was supposed to be dropped off, but Brand stayed with her because she seemed so nervous.  Apparently, she asked him nicely to stay.  Let's face it though.  She's a daddy's girl.  She has him wrapped around her little finger in a big way.  He'll do anything for his Jayden Isabelly.

Once she got a taste of the fun, she never looked back.

Of course, now she wants a horse of her own.  She is such an animal person.  I will be shocked if she's not a vet or the owner of a shelter when she's an adult.

She got to groom the horse and had a short private lesson with one named Jojo.  Girlfriend is hooked.

 Ryan didn't get to go to the party, but Jayden brought him home a cowboy hat.  He's been wearing it ever since.  Notice he also gave himself a star neck tattoo.

On a totally unrelated note, I have started working out.  Jillian Michaels is officially kicking my ass.  Holy cow, I am out of shape....like senior citizen status.  Hoping to see some results soon.

Weekend wrap-up

It's Sunday night already.  Boo!!!  I definitely caught up on some sleep this weekend.  I think I slept 15 hours straight last night.  No wonder the weekend seems like it flew by.

Last night we walked to Baummer's Pond.  Jayden spent her time trying to catch fish/frogs, and Brand was putting Ryan through the wringer with some basketball drills.

Have you ever seen a little girl so happy about night crawlers?

She is in heaven at the pond.  She didn't catch anything.  She moves too much and scares the fish away.

 Jayden and I were almost assaulted by a gang (flock?) of geese.  Jayden was terrifed!  I was laughing my ass off.  Turns out throwing one tiny piece of bread at 30-plus geese isn't the greatest idea.

Ryan threw some bread into the pond for a little while...and then he headed over to the basketball court.

Earlier tonight I went to Michael's and bought Jayden a Smash Book.  She is big into scrapbooking lately, so this should keep her occupied for a while. 

I printed up a bunch of pictures, and she got right to it.

I bought Ryan a bunch of tattoos.  He thought it would be hysterical to stick one to his butt cheek.  I'll spare you the picture of that one...